Holding On and Letting Go
Part 1 - Dawn
Part 2 - A Warning Sign
Part 3 - Cracks in the Pavement
Part 4 - All Good Things
Part 5 - Holding On and Letting Go
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Part 1 - Dawn
Dawn settled on the city as Khushi walked up slowly to her window, dropping the towel she was using to dry off her damp hair. She threw open the glass slides, allowing the cool morning breeze to caress her face, breathing in deeply she took it all in. The smell of Delhi before the dust settled during the day, it smelled of damp mud from the light rain last night, she loved that smell. It reminded her of her childhood, when she would sit out in front of her house with her Jiji in the mud after it had rained, they would dance and play when it was pouring down on them, and when it stopped, they would splash around in the little pools of water and sticky mud until their parents would call them back inside to clean up.
"Khushi, betiya, how many times have we told you to not play out in the rain for so long? You'll get a cold" her mother used to lovingly say as she dried her hair after her shower.
Looking sadly over at the towel she had just dropped on the chair next to her she frowned, her mother was gone, carried away with the wind, snatched away from her. She wouldn't be back to offer little moments of love and give her advice that she could pass on to her kids someday.
She sighed with a heavy heart, always hating when she started the day with a sad thought, she did think it was appropriate however, because she had been feeling down ever since she had found out about Shyam.
She looked down at her own ring finger, empty, as she had removed the little circle of gold and thrown it back at him, in response to all the betrayal and mistrust. The light buzzing in her temple became more rigorous as she thought of Arnav. She couldn't blame him for getting engaged, he may have announced it first, but she had gotten engaged first. She didn't have a right to question him. She looked up at the skyline that had started to slowly show signs of light, she didn't have a right either way, whether she was engaged or not.
She smiled at her silly thoughts, even if there wasn't all that there was between them, he still wouldn't be hers. He would never belong to a middle class girl, a girl with no respect and no class as he had put it, a girl that would go to any lengths for a bit of money.
There was no point in reminding herself of all the harsh words he had spoken to her, they only made her heart burn with more sadness, knowing that she would just have to bury her dreams before they even had a chance to see the light.
"Buaji! Ammaji ! I'm going to the Raizada mansion!" she called back into the house as she stepped outside.
"So early?" Bua called from within her room watching outside as the sun had only begun to rise "Hai Nandikissor! I know Anjali ji asked you to come over yesterday but you are being so irresponsible! It's hardly even the morning yet, get back in here and leave whe.." she rounded out through her door to see a flash of bright red and Khushi whipped around the door.
"When will this girl learn?" she said, slapping her forehead. She felt guilty for what she had done to Khushi so she let her leave, maybe she should lay off her for a few days, she deserved that much.
She was thinking of him the entire way towards his house, lost in the thoughts of what those eyes could do to her, they could stop her in her tracks and melt her entire being in a matter of seconds. She needed to gather control of herself and remember that she couldn't let herself get carried away like she had in the past. They had broken off their engagement, and Lavanya had left for London after a sad goodbye, but that didn't mean that she was free. In fact, she felt worse now, knowing that there was no barrier to keep her emotions in check.
She stopped near the gate to the mansion and held her head in her hands as it began to throb. She had never had a headache like that before, it felt like her brain was bruised and whichever way she would turn, it would smack painfully against her skull. Holding her head in one hand she made her way up the stairs and to the front door.